11 posts tagged “einstein”

I love that, despite deciding to dress casual (I wore pajamas), I changed outfits 4 times - solely because I wanted to have on decent looking underwear in case I decided to go pantless again. (I didn't.) I'm pretty sure that most people don't base their clubwear decisions on whether or not they'll actually be keeping the clothes ON at the club. But that's part of the appeal of Miss Kitty's!!

When I arrived, there was a huge line of people trying to beat the 10pm admission increase. I just barely made it - with enough time (2 min?) to order a couple $1 drink specials (gin. which, thankfully, also stopped at 10p). I met a fun/nice costumed couple. She was wearing a very cute but basic "burlesque" outfit (corset, poofy skirt, fishnets) but he looked like Snidely Whiplash. I kept calling him that and he had NO idea what I was talking about. Curses, foiled again!

I also met a cute young guy named Phoenix and drank with him for a bit till his friends spied him and he went wandering. Einstein's friend, Navid found me and we were talking for awhile. He's a REALLY nice guy. Out of Einstein's entire entourage, I think I now enjoy Navid the best - he's smart, fun, and has an amusing combo of hardcore lust & total respect for women (visually oogles but never touches). Einstein came up a bit later and we made nice after December's biting incident - though I warned him, very seriously, that if he tried it again I'd kick his ass. Turns out he was drunk that night and, unbeknown to me, has a reputation for aggressive biting when drunk. Still not cool but at least now I know why it happened.

The shows were interesting. In looking back, I realize that they weren't as sexually blatant as usual - and that the guys mostly stayed entirely clothed. I wonder if part of the reason for the shutdown of the prior version of the club was that they got in trouble for simulated sex acts (I don't know the legal "line in the sand" on that topic). But it was nice because everyone looked so good (I'm still in love with Christos). For the shows, the lighting & sound were done to create the effect of watching old movies - the first being 2 women fighting over Moses; then repeated with alcohol added. Very amusing. Moses was "teh HAAAWWWWT" during that one!!

Then the wonderful Mother-Fing Miss Kitty said a mother-Fing hello ("motherfuckers" is every other word out of her mouth). It was fantastic to see her again!! She looked really good and appeared to be having a good time (something missing from her last appearances).

After that, they were offering lap dances on the side stage but Moses wasn't one of the dancers so I skipped it. The 2nd side stage had some kind of bizarre "art class with birds" theme to it - bird cages hanging from the ceiling, people wearing bird masks and posing while other cast members pretending to sketch them. I didn't get it and moved on.

The 2nd dance floor/room featured the "photo booth" - which turned out to be a nice backdrop with a professional photographer taking pics for the website (looked like there will be some really good ones). And the other wall had a woman-in-her-dressing-room performance going on. It was visually impressive but got boring fast.

I moved on to the patio so I could sit for a bit - though not before flashing tit to "Blinkie Light Dave" (he gives away stretchy rubber blinky light rings all night - though girls usually have to remove them from his penis). In appreciation, he put some glittery lip stickers around my nipple - so I showed it off for the rest of the night.

The patio featured great old (20s-40s) music but I think I was the only person who could appreciate it. I made a new friend, "Slave Dave", who was wearing little more than a g-string, full-body fishnet stocking, vibrating glove and some kind of ball vibrator (yeah, I felt it - what of it?). Over his left nipple, he had a tattoo that said "PINCH" with a little arrow going to the nipple. So I did. Then balanced out on the right. Then put on him, and pulled off, his nipple clamps. Then spanked his ass a whole bunch of times cause he was into it and I didn't have anything better to do.

I eventually headed back to the main room. My mass consumption of alcohol had nicely obliterated all the physical pain I was in from working out earlier (seriously, I could barely walk) - and the music was great, so I became a dance fiend. No partner - except when Einstein would find me and grind on me. But, otherwise, I was just grooving wherever I could find room.

The 2nd show starred... "Prince Poppycock" - or something like that. A guy in full white wig and european "romance era" outfit pranced on to stage and I had no idea what to expect. Well, blow me away - the guy belted out Figaro (you know, the opera), in Italian, WHILE STRIPPING. (Gawd, I've seen some interesting stuff in my life!) His singing was AMAZING... it was stunning to realize it was really him, not a recording.

After that, there was a costume contest - which "Snidley Whiplash" and his girlfriend were in (but didn't win). I didn't watch the end of that - preferring to return to the patio for more nonsense out there. There was a guy in a "radioactive polar bear" jacket (long white fake fur with some kind of light element so the whole thing glowed greenish), and several women who do corset training (20" waists and sporting real corsets). I met a really gorgeous & friendly chick but she quickly hooked up with another chick - and some guy took her spot. I was teasing him about being so drunk that he couldn't operate txt msg-ing (true story) which he took to mean that I wanted to have sex. So, after some more quick spanks of Slave Dave, I made a hasty retreat back to the anonymity of the dance floor.

I ran into "Julie" - a transvestite I met about a year ago. She's really nice but, like so many others, misunderstands my complete acceptance of her persona to mean I'm into her (she likes women). I'm not. I'm just friendly.

That was at about 1:30 so, rather than deal with more Einstein and the flirtations of a drunk transvestite, I decided to go home. I woke up around 6a to what I think was MeowMeow Kitty crying inside my house, meaning s/he had been indoors all night. But I was too tired to actually get up and look. Around 8a, I let the cats out and later heard Espressa hissing at MeowMeow and I'm certain s/he eventually came inside to steal some food. But I was still too tired to care.

My back & knee are both killing me now so I've done little more than have some food and return to bed (no hangover, I don't get them. I'm just tired & sore). I'll probably do some laundry, maybe run some errands (pedicure?), but it looks like this day is going to be mostly vegetative.

Last night seriously sucked.

Except the performance by JerBer Jones. Even though it was all lipsynced, I thought it was great (but I was, clearly, in the minority on that).

And except for the couple who were cruising for a third and who were, frankly, pretty hot (but, more importantly, both very cool). Had I been there solo, I might have gone for it (there were clear about letting me know it was an option).

Otherwise:

• Jesus (cute coworker) stood us up.
• Gladys drove me up a fucking wall.
  
• Cute guys were on Gladys from the minute we walked into the bar - leaving me to become invisible.
• No offense intended to Gladys but I do NOT understand that phenom. She's not ugly but she's also not sexy and she doesn't give off any "you want me" vibe... that I can sense... but guys apparently sense one, or pheromones, or something, cause this is not the first time I've witnessed this reaction to her.
• "Einstein" got himself perma-excluded from my "to do" list. Pretty much from my "acknowledge your existence" list too.
• Here's a clue for guys looking to get laid: When a woman gets so pissed off at you (with cause) that she tells you to FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE FOR AWHILE, it's generally wise to DO THAT; not to follow her around the bar all night and try to rub up on her and act "cuddly" every 15 minutes. That second option, the WRONG one... that's a pretty good way to risk losing your balls.
  
• I confirmed that THE Miss Kitty (who I ADORE) is, for the most part, officially leaving the club. I like the new hostess well enough but it's just not going to be the same. I mean, dramatically not the same. So much so that, after several so-so/bad nights at Kitty's, I'm wondering if it's also time for me to leave the club. Not that I have anything to replace it.
  

I was so fucking annoyed with Einstein that I was ready to go home around 12:30. Gladys repeatedly agreed to leave but would then immediately turn around and walk off in the opposite direction and/or go dance. WTF? I finally got her out of there just before last call (roughly 1:45), drove her back to the office (60+ miles), and then back to my home (35 miles) - arriving around 3:15am. Thankfully, barely any traffic and no one seemed to be drunk.

I decided to take a pre-bed shower and the tub, well... under the tub, started making sounds that tell me I may actually be pretty close to falling through the floor. Not cool.

I went to bed with my space heater on but totally paranoid of every sound it made (3, very young, LongBeach girls died in a house fire last week. It was started by a nice, normal, totally legal & UL approved space heater.). I finally heard one odd "pop" too many - especially since it sounded like it came from the extension cord, not the heater. I got up and unplugged the heater and was quite upset to see the plug looking "melty". Not melted. Not charred. And it wasn't hot. But it looked "less than right". So I guess that will freak me out enough to let my room stay redonk cold for the rest of winter (air from the wall heater doesn't make it into here).

I fell back asleep around 5a. The neighbor started house cleaning, and banging something (vacuum canister? i still haven't decided) on the outside trashcan at 8:15AM. I dozed off and woke to Moshi crying for attention. I dozed off again and woke to an ER vehicle coming down the street with sirens & horn blaring. I finally accepted that, despite how much I want to sleep, the Universe is pushing me to take my car in for a "why has my gas mileage suddenly dropped off?" checkup. Now that I'm awake, I'm gonna get dressed and do just that.

Took way too long to get ready for Miss Kitty's. Finally got on the road at 10:30p (I wanted to be at the club by 10) and hit MAJOR traffic problems. First, a 6-car accident at a freeway interchange. Then, where one freeway splits to 3 freeways - and with way more traffic than usual (first weekend that EVERYONE is out of school) - the left 1/2 of the 6-lane freeway was closed at a crucial spot, creating a horrendous jam. Then, at the very last second, the left lanes reopened right before the 2 middle lanes were closed. THEN, because that wasn't enough, a game at Dodger Stadium apparently just ended so there were a gazillion cars trying to merge in downtown LA. A drive that usually takes me 35 min took closer to 1.5 hrs.

Cezar was at the club and super hyper while I was super stressed about finding Kim - which was super annoying (to each of us). I slammed one drink back - no effect. I searched for Kim for about 20 min before we found each other - and I promptly slammed 2 more drinks.

I finally mellowed but the crowd was strange so things still felt a bit off. Not bad. Not "ohhh... you look strange [in a good way]". Just strange as in not the usual crowd... and surprisingly low turnout (last year was packed). Miss Kitty was there (she's been MIA a LOT lately). She put on a good face but didn't really seem to be enjoying herself.

There was an interesting erotic art exhibit. I caught 1 main stage show that was fun (though predictable - all "bob fosse" burlesque... which is just so "seen it!"). Kim stripped Cezar down to his undies on the dance floor (even took off his shoes). I later apologized to a VERY pissy security guard - explaining it was not Cezar's fault that he was shirtless (he had shoes & pants back on by that time) and still wonder what the problem was since both guys & girls go shirtless there all the time.

Didn't get any of the free champagne. Seriously thought I could have done a better job in the "best ass" contest - despite definitely not having the best ass (at least I would have known to 'work it' on stage). Had probs with a younger guy (first timer) who was waaaaaay too into me and had about ZERO seduction skill. Was bored by the side stage shows. Confirmed that a guy wearing a kilt really didn't have anything on under it (yea!).

I saw "Einstein" and asked what he was doing there - cause I know his back is majorly f'ed up and he's supposed to be taking it easy. He was weird because he was there with a date and concerned that I would be bothered. Later, I had a good laugh when I was sitting with Einstein's friend on the patio: Einstein and his date came and sat down by us. Not wanting to screw up the date, I acted like I had just met the friend and didn't know Einstein. The chick seemed oblivous but I couldn't help noticing that the entire time she was trying to talk to him, Einstein was staring at me. Good times!

Then there was some random dancing - with Kim, with Cezar, by myself, with the annoying "into me" younger guy; and lots of work to get the younger guy off of me again; and much internal debate about leaving cause everything was strange and not very interesting and I had lost both Kim & Cezar.

Then Moses (part of the Miss Kitty's cast) was on one of the side stages, giving out bits of birthday cake. So I licked some off his fingers. Then licked some more off his fingers - which took a really loooooong time, and lots of tongue work, despite the itty bit of frosting, cause - ya know - I've gotta be thorough. Then I convinced Moses to let me lick some frosting off his... naughty bits... again being sure to be thorough... which was pretty much worth the price of admission!! (soooo pretty - and pierced!) Then Kim was there and she licked frosting off a big knife (I think that's gonna be on the website) and Moses' fingers. Well, I wasn't gonna be outdone (F that!!) so I had to get back in the game - and we both licked frosting off Moses' fingers, and each other.

While I was wiping frosting off my face, Einstein started rubbing up on me. I asked where his date went. He led me off to a private area - his date apparently having left already. He was really concerned that I might be jealous - even though I repeatedly told him I was not ("I don't DO jealousy!"). He also made a point of telling me to stop talking negative about my body because he felt I looked REALLY good. (I have high self esteem but low body image - which I still believe is with good cause - despite being willing to dress like I think I'm all that.) There was some making out. There were hands in naughtly places. There were breastesses that would have been exposed if not for the mouth on them. All the usually good, clean, Miss Kitty's fun. [they should have a soap/suds party there - that would be fun!!] 

Then it was closing time. Einstein talked to me while waiting to reconnect with his friend/ride. I was talking to Kim and her hubby while they waited for their car. All was good - except Kim was REALLY trashed. And she confused Einstein with "C". And she doesn't know I'm over C's psycho episode from last Dec. And she's EXTREMELY protective. So, pretty much out of the blue, she punched Einstein in the gut.

I LOVE knowing I have a friend who's protective of me. I HATE that I can't get her to understand she's overdoing it.

Einstein left (knew Kim was drunk and didn't get mad at her - major points for him!). Kim & her hubby left. Not wanting to be on the road with "amateur drinkers", I happily waited till very last for my car, snapping the pics to the right. I got home around 3:15am; showered; sent a "sorry if you had a bad night" email to Cezar; sent a "sorry Kim punched you - thanks for being cool about it" message to Einstein; got on Vox; and am now going to bed (that's what sunrise is for!).

It wasn't bad. But it still didn't make up for last weekend. And, yes, I realize that I have high (and bizarre) standards.

[Sat afternoon update: Kim doesn't remember much about last night and promptly apologized upon learning she had punched Einstein. Considering personalities, I'm glad it was Einstein instead of C - as C would NOT have been cool about it. I told her all is okay.]

Ii-ii-ii-iii am sooo bor-or-or-or-or-or-or-ored"

And that was my experience at Morrissey.

I realized part of the prob was people kept telling me "he puts on a great show". I forgot to run that through my "I started going to concerts back when they were major theatrical productions" filter. You say "good show", I expect lighting and visual displays, and lord knows what else. Not a band which stands in place and plays, and a lead singer who does a wee bit of walking around the stage, shaking hands, while singing.

What people meant was, "Morrissey is good live" - which translates to "his music isn't all created post-production - he can actually sing and sound the same as his recordings."

He wasn't bad - not by a long shot. It just wasn't a "great show".

the opening act, Kristeen Young, was HORRIBLE. Worse than horrible. Just her siniging, and playing keyboards, with a drummer - waaaay on the other side of the stage - and guitar music that must have been recorded cause there was no one playing. We heard her "singing" while getting into the venue and buying beers - and even then I thought, "OMG - what the hell is this shit?" She was BAD!!

but back to Morrissey: The biggest prob to me enjoying the show was that he didn't sing many hits - and, as I said somewhere, I'm not a huge fan so I only know his hits. I was able to sing along to "Girlfriend in a coma". I recognized 2 other songs - but not well, i vaguely recognized parts of 2 more as songs I didn't like from his album release of a year or two ago. I heard one retro-surfer sounding song, which Adrian said was really new, that I really liked - but have no idea of the lyrics. There was no "suedehead", no "panic"... nothing else I knew. All the other bits of the 1hr, 4min concert were a total boring blank for me.

And the audience... ugh!! I figured at least the people watching would make up for any lack of knowing the songs - but nooooo. There were NO emo kids. NO emo adults. Nobody anything other than "normal" people you'd see anywhere else. Such a disappointment! The audience was mostly 30 to 50s. I was afraid that might happen at the Bowl - especially after his 3 Pasadena shows in Feb.

Adrian said the show VERY closely copied one that's on DVD - even ending with the exact same song, exact same outfit, and walking off at the exact same point. He felt he'd basically just seen the DVD done live.

I spent a LOT of the time thinking how much I'd rather be at Miss Kitty's. Adrian and I didn't make it over there. He was burnt out and didn't want to pay the cover. Plus he just hit 3 weeks of being single after leaving a 10 year relationship, a relationship he REALLY cared about (but which didn't care so much about him) so he's not ready to be out & about just yet. I reminded him that I'm going to Kitty's next week (Miss Kitty's Birthday Party!!) so I didn't mind blowing it off.

"Einstein" happened to call around 2am and say I hadn't missed anything at Kitty's. It was very usual for him to call after midnight - but he was clearly just horny and shopping around for a "date". He didn't understand that phrases like, "You need to get rid of those cats" (he's allergic) ain't getting him any closer to getting laid by me. I had fun teasing him on the phone but at one point I realized that could be a total "blow it" if C showed up for a booty call and overheard me. There'd be no way he would know I was joking around with someone. Considering the situation between "C" and me, it wouldn't bother me to overhear him having a similar convo, but I definitely get the feeling it would bug him. Guys can be sooo good about being possessive while refusing to actually "get involved".

So... I expected to be up all night but was actually in bed by 2:30 and got a fairly decent night of sleep. I was awakened, as I often am on Sat, by my neighbor beating things on his trashcan - and my annoyance at not being able to figure out what the hell he's beating up. I only ever pound 1 of 2 things on the trashcan: the cat litter box and the filter to my vaccum. He has neither - so what does he have to repeatedly beat on the trash ever weekend?? Seriously!?! What would a person have in their very sparcely decorated, hardwood floors, house that would require being beaten on the trashcan - 3 or 4 times, roughly 30 min apart, every Saturday??

I leave for the brow tattooing in about 2 hrs. I'm nervous... no fear of the pain; total fear of getting fucked up brows (despite already having that).

[warning: TMI about BDSM club ahead. However, I'm tired so I'm not going to do it nearly the justice it deserves.]

Darn that Einstein, 10 weeks and 1 day later (but who's counting?), he spanked my ass again. And paddled it too. But no whips, cuffs, blindfolds, or bondage.

Club DV8 is held near LAX at PassiveArts, a "for hire" BDSM studio by day and "nightclub" on Sat nights. I got there around 10:45pm - which I knew was a bit early for a BDSM crowd. Despite living about 5 min away, Einstein was running late (because his friend was late to his house). I was a little uptight about walking from the parking lot, across La Cienega (major street), in the dark, in my "modified schoolgirl" outfit (white blouse, black bra peaking through, plaid shirt, white ankle socks (with bows), high heel black mary janes, and a black corset) - but Einstein said it was okay and I trusted him so I made my way over.

At Einstein's instruction, I said I was on someone's guest list and that made my cover charge only $5 (score! just getting this far at Miss Kitty's would already cost $23). I got inside the club, saw the bar (tiny - but well stocked), then noticed the barely-clothed girl in heavy rope suspension hanging from the ceiling and spinning in circles. She looked to be having fun - but watching it got old fast. A little bored, and not knowing what to do with myself till Einstein showed up, I browsed the vendor counter and came very close to buying a wickedly cool pink & black $125 pvc collar (still might).

I wandered through the 3 main playrooms but there wasn't much to see... a lot of BDSM equipment (racks, bondage beds, a chain spider web, some cages, stocks, etc), a clique of old Doms with their young female subs - just sitting around and talking, and a few people wandering around. I came back to the grand room and watched the suspension chick and her Dom play for a bit more. Then I got chatted up by a young (22?) CUTIE. Very adorable but seeking a femdom (which I'm not). It was his first time too so we hung out together for awhile - eventually ending up watching some play in one of the rooms (odd that I can't remember what was going on).

Einstein and his friend finally showed up so the cutie wandered off to continue his quest. After the scene we were watching was over (as I had pre-guessed, it is a "no sex" club), Einstein ended up with my leather ping pong paddle - which I brought solely because he stung his own hand last time - and, once I turned around, put it to use... YEEOUUCH!! Some warm up would have been nice. Yeeeowwza. I was having fun, wondering how much I could take before I'd ask him to stop, but he got weirded out about people watching (since he's more a watcher than a do-er, I think he was self conscious about people "judging" his skill) so we stopped and moved back to the grand room in time for the first of two tribal fire twirling shows. The girls who were performing were excellent - and there were only 2 close calls with dropped flames. lol.

After that, the head host announced it was some girl's birthday. Meeting with much resistence, a couple Doms (clearly friends of hers) forced her face into her cake, then convinced her to bend over a straddle horse, pull up her skirt, and let EVERYONE spank her.... with about 75% of the attendees taking their allowed 2 swats on her ass. She took it well - it actually got quite comedic and the entire atmosphere of the club lightened up substantially.

Einstein and I ended up in the bathroom (okay, maybe I followed him in), which was, thankfully, quite clean and, at my urging, we FINALLY took care of some of the naughtiness we've discussed (extra TMI: how nice to meet a man who was NOT exaggerating about what he had to offer!). People were knocking on the door so he got all worried and decided not to finish. I was kinda suprised - especially recalling the gazillion times I've waited to use bathrooms because people were having sex (and that was my first time EVER to do the same) - but figured "whatev"... his call.

We wandered to the smaller play rooms and found a group in the back who had a really good vibe and dynamic going. They were all young (very early 20s, if that) and one guy was sort of the "head Dom" - literally teaching the others. Despite some intense whipping of one girl, and fireplay on the back of another, the group was chatty and fun. Curiousity got the best of me and I accepted the Dom's offer to let me sample the fireplay on my arm. He sprayed on some 50% rubbing alcohol, lit it, then rubbed his hand over to put it out. Not being afraid of heat (I used to do glassblowing), I asked him to do it longer - to allow me time to feel the sensation rather than just see it. He did that a couple more times  - letting the flames go longer - then did one pass with 90% rubbing alcohol so I could feel the difference (shorter duration but much higher heat). I thought I'd definitely like to try it over my body some time. It made me a bit bummed that I wasn't part of that "inner circle" - as they clearly had a good share of skilled and adventurous Doms (which is something I find lacking in my world).

Einstein played with me off and on - but was really focused on trying to get me to submit to a "pro" Dom while he watched. If I'd known the people there, I might have tried it. But I was new and still getting the feel of the place so I didn't feel it was appropriate to approach anyone.

After watching one sub chick take her 3rd or 4th HEAVY whipping, Einstein finally decided people could wait for the bathroom and we finished what we started. Watching him in the mirror was definitely fun. Learning some of his "verbal triggers" was somewhat thrilling - cause finding one gives me a cool sense of control. 

Back in the playrooms, whipping, a bit of spanking, and suspension seemed to be the play of choice. I saw one girl swinging in a suspended cage (looked very fun!) and another wrapped in cellophane - but no leather bondage, no restraints, no clamps, no needle play... which I kinda hoped to see "up close and personal" to see what I thought of them.

A guy came into the room, knelt before the "sub" girl who'd taken the 3 or 4 heavy whippings (and showed NO signs of fatigue or pain), and asked to worship her boots. She consented - eventually ending up walking on his back and using my leather paddle to beat him hard (he was wearing jeans so it wasn't nearly as intense as it sounded). Watching her "switch" (from sub to domme) was cool. She was clearly comfortable with both roles.

The crowd suddenly thinned out and the music was shut off so I knew it was getting late. Einstein, his friend, and I ended up with about 15 other people in the only playroom that still had activity going on - watching the head host do some massively cool whipping & flogging of two girls who were embracing and trading positions while standing against a bondage wall. The techniques he used, the girls' responses (they tended to laugh instead of shriek - even after really sharp whip blows), and how they all worked together was extremely interesting. Not as erotically charged as I've seen at other places - but cool. One thing I admired in almost every room was the variety of techniques used to handle the whips & floggers... and watching the Doms get just as overheated & exhausted as the subs.

The last group finally stopped - at nearly 3am - and, after a round of applause and thanks for allowing us to watch, as they exchanged hugs, we made our way out to the cars. Being naughty by nature, I teased Einstein into some play in the parking lot... and enjoyed one of the few times that I've elicited verbal "oh...my...god!" type responses that I actually believed (I assume guys say positive things solely because they believe it will get them more play in the future). Again, matters were left "unfinished" but we were both tired and decided it would make for a good excuse to meet up again.

DV8 happens again in 2 weeks. I doubt I'll go that soon but am pretty sure I'll return. I may also try the club they have on 1st Saturdays, LA Power Exchange - which is similar to DV8 but, from what I hear, less "jovial". Curiousity killed the cat... satisfaction brought her back!

To my surprise, now that I've seen the place, I can't stop wondering if it would be worth the expense of trying out a session with one of the paid pros (maybe with Einstein watching?)... would it be too much? too little? boring? freakish? or, just maybe, as hypnotic & addictive as the one intense "sub space" experience I had with "C"?

stay tuned.

What is your current obsession(s)?
Submitted by eijsr.

Figuring out where/how/when to hook up with "Einstein". We neeeeeeeeeed to resolve this!!

I thought we were going to meet at Kitty's tonight but he never said anything about it, I was tired, and he didn't return a message - so I didn't go. Then I got 2 messages asking where I was. ARGH!

He offered to come over here but I'm still tired, he's still allergic to cats, and my house will always be a dust & dander filled disaster area. I finally TOLD him (instead of waiting for him to figure out) that I thought we should get a hotel room on another night... like tomorrow.

No response. Dunno if he doesn't think it's worth it (I wouldn't be too insulted - rooms are freakin EXPENSIVE around here!), worried about feeling he'd have to spend the WHOLE night (oh, gawd!) or it just gonna respond later. I'll focus on the last option.

Gawd, don't tell me I'm actually going to have to CLEAN this place. THE HORROR -- THE HORROR!!

S Factor went okay last night. Warm up was difficult. By the time we got to abs, I was already exhausted (didn't help that I hadn't eatten all day and forgot to bring a bottle of water). I wasn't thrilled about pole work and, on the first move, I tried the most basic of spins and ended up hurting my bad knee really badly. I hobbled to the sofa, sat down, and starting crying like a kid. Completely embarrassing but I was determined that I was not leaving early again.

A student, then Megan (our instructor), came by to check on me and I couldn't even talk... just nodding or shaking my head to questions - agreeing not to leave. I knew that if I actually spoke I would get hysterical. I felt like a total failure. Last night of Level 3 - just got my teal g-string - and I can't even do the most basic of Level 1 pole tricks, let alone the stuff I should have learned in Level 3. I have perfectionist issues. I spent the entire pole work time alternating between crying & pulling myself together.

To my own suprise, I decided to participate in the dances - figuring that, at worst, I could just do the routine (we're at the point of "freestyling" now). I made sure I got in the group with the "angry music" song - and ended up having a great time. I actually went freestyle. I probably looked like a 'tard. But I didn't care. When my group was up a 2nd time, the song choice SUCKED and I just stood still for a LONG time, deciding whether to walk away and sit down or to just go for it. I went for it - but I know it was bad because I never "felt" the music.

Then we got a surprise... the Level 1 class from next door was coming in to watch us! The original plan was for them to watch the 2nd group do their last dance. But they were taking so long that Megan decided to let the 2nd group do their workout - then ALL of us demo'd for the Level 1s. That was fun... 10 students, 5 poles. You really had to pay attention - which isn't easy when you're "feelin the music". I remember doing some wall work, opening my eyes to walk to a pole, and realizing my path was blocked by 3 people doing floor moves in front of me - so I had to change moves in order to kill time in that spot. I REALLY wish I could have seen how the whole thing looked. I bet it was... odd... but in a way that gave the Level 1's confidence that they're ready to become 2s!! We had fun - and that's all I really care about. I start Level 4 (where I'll stay for quite awhile) next Thursday.

Work today was lame - 2nd week of nothing to do. I heard that next week may be the same. Of course, we all know that the deadlines aren't being moved so all that these delays actually mean is that we're going to be working crazy ass hours whenever the project finally rolls to our team - which is why none of us is worrying about days wasted playing on the internet now.

I had tenative plans to meet "Einstein" at Miss Kitty's tonight but decided I would be better off getting some R&R because (1) I feel like someone punched me, hard, in the shoulder [definitely an S Factor injury but I can't figure out how I did it] and (2) I have a scratchy throat and am concerned that I'm coming down with whatever germies the "spy bitch" who sits next to me brought into the office (her whole family has been sick for 2 weeks). Besides, it's good to leave them wanting... right?

I'm kinda tripping on "Einstein" because he's been so honest with me. I literally don't know the last time a guy has done that. I mean, he doesn't seem to hide anything. I ask a question - he answers it, completely. Very much a "here's the reality - deal with it or move on" kind of thing. Quite a turn on.

I really WANT him, "Einstein", (in the naughty way) but we have some hurdles... (not his open relationship - that was explained to my satisfaction): He's allergic to cats. I have 3 - and I'm not a fan of vacuuming so my house REALLY sets people off. He lives with his family (still completing testing/licensing for his chosen profession). So.... where to score? I do not know. (I feel like this is Life's way of forcing us to get to know each other first!) Cars = No thanks. Hotels = expensive. Beach = gritty & illegal. Suggestions?!

Unrelated: Tonight I watched my future husband (Gael) in the movie "Dot the i". Loved it! Kept thinking I knew what was coming next. Kept being wrong. Gael was sexy as ever but I would have liked the movie even if he weren't. I think "The Science of Sleep" is going to arrive tomorrow - yeeeaaa... Gael weekend!!

Tomorrow is planned for shopping for a bellydancing scarf to fit around this large (but shrinking) body - and some more Healthy Hair (brand) Pumpkin shampoo. My hair has been looking fabu since I started using it - and it smells GREAT. On Sun, I might go to the finale of the Amgen Tour of California (bicycle race), since it's here in Long Beach... but I'm guessing I'll forget till about 3 hrs after it's over.

[queue tiny violins]

Just found out that my week of lost pay (from being sick in Jan) is hitting this week - for a whopping $468 paycheck (covering 2 weeks). Unfortunately, the state hasn't sent their portion of the disability payment yet. Nor has the insurance company that compensates our pay back up to 70%. So, once again, I can't make mortgage ($1436)... and have no idea when/if the missing income will arrive. Greaaaaat.

It's my fault for using last week's bonus check to catch up on all the other bills. I should have known better. I never get a financial windfall without a substantial loss quickly following (makes me nervous about the stock options buyout in May).

Heavy sigh. I don't do well with financial stress.

My mojo had already gone MIA again - and I've been sort of "hiding out" from life for the past few days. This isn't going to help.

Oh... and Einstein just emailed me and mentioned his "open relationship" with someone he's "been seeing for a very long time." Great. Just great. It's stupid to get involved in something like that - but I bet I do it anyway (seems to be my pattern). At least I never considered him for anything more than a play partner.

Still... it would be nice to attact an interesting SINGLE playmate sometime, and consider the option for a "serious" involvement. Perhaps another day.

Tonight is the last class of S Factor Level 3. And, again, I'm not "feeling" it. As I wrote in a message earlier today, with illness and all, this session has basically turned out to be little more than a $440 g-string. I start Level 4 next week. It will go better.... right?

Time to go claw my way back under that rock. I might need a bigger boulder.

Or maybe "Cranky" is more appropriate. Maybe both. Maybe you should back off and not worry about it, okay?!?

I've tried to keep it under wraps but I know everything I've said today has contained at least trace amounts of venom.

I'm not sure what my prob is. I had a good night (talked to "Einstein", and he offered his email & myspace info [more that C ever did!]), I slept well, left for work on time, dropped off a package for Kristen at FedEx... all good. But somewhere during the 30 mile drive to work my personality turned. By the time I walked in the front door, I was ready to bitch slap everybody. So, for the most part, I've hid in my cube and kept my mouth shut.

The highlight of my day was being the first to catch on to the fact that our Software Developer was being snarky, not serious, with nasty comments during a document review. It wasn't till his 5th or 6th snide remark, and me with the giggles, that other people figured it out. This is why he and I get along well - fast brains.

I had about 30 min of paperwork after that - and have spent the rest of the day BORED out of my mind and compulsively checking my 4 email accounts, news, and Vox in the vain hope that some bit of enlightenment would suddenly appear before me. Or that I would at least be too distracted to notice my boborygymus (use the link!).

So, wide world of Vox - do you have any enlightenment for me this night? I still have another hour to kill at the office.

I was NOT impressed (despite stealing my new tag line from one of the songs). Could have been the non-stop fidgeting of the young girl next to me (who also smelled like poo... double fun). Could have been sitting close enough to the orchestra that the singers were drowned out in parts. Could have been feeling old as I realized the majority of the cast was younger than me - much younger than me. Could be that I've never been able to stand The Wizard of Oz (and especially the damn Rainbow song!) so I didn't have much invested in the "background" story (though I admit idea of the Tin Man, Scarecrow & Lion's creations were creative). Could have been that it was simply anti-climactic after Miss Kitty's the night before (an entirely different definition of Wicked!). Or could have been that it just isn't that good!

It's not bad. I have high standards. It's very "Disney" - emphasis on costuming & staging rather than story and performance. It was a rather annoying & obvious morality play. I felt it was "theater for beginners". It reminded me of the time I was trying to drag Joel to "Phantom" and he didn't want to go because he felt he shouldn't have to use his brain while being entertained. But ha-ha on him... the fates aligned, his roommate got deathly ill (literally, nearly died) and Joel went with me after all - his first experience with live theater - and LOVED it!

At "Wicked", I was in the minority - the extreme minority (perhaps the only person) - with my opinion. But I stand by it. It was good family fare (though too expensive for most - my seat was $85). Not good intelligent adult fare. I nearly left at intermission (still trying to remember which play, at the same location, I did leave). The 2nd half was better than the first - but only mildly so. I thought it was surreal to be thinking, "Oh Gawd, is is OVER yet?" as the woman in front of me was moved to the point of crying her eyes out.

In other weekend news:

Brunch this morning was really nice. Probably 150 guys when I got there. My two self-proclaimed husbands, John & David (not a couple) were there. John won the "Chinese Year of the Pig" raffle (money went to the Long Beach G/L Center) - a collection of tacky pig themed toys - and graciously posed for the picture below with a couple of the items. David and his husband, Bryan, left early - before I could get a good photo (which sucks cause David is SEXY). Brad, pictured below on the far right (with glasses) is the coordinator of the brunches... GREAT guy!

I heard of 2 after-parties going on but skipped them both, knowing I would end up drinking too much, to check on the FGN's kitties, watch TV, and nap (their home is SO comfy!). While I was there, "Einstein" left me a voicemail - a very nice and mildly flirty message (again, my standards only - to other people it would have been mildly obscene). I thought about calling him back right away but realized I wasn't in the right frame of mind to be flirty & intelligent so I'm waiting till tomorrow. I wonder what he's doing next weekend. Me?

I got to see 1/2 an episode of "The L Word" at the FGNs house. I can see why so many people like it! Unfortunately, their TiVo chimed in to change the channel before I could see more (their TV isn't set up to tape a program while watching another) so I left and came back to the TOTAL disaster area I call home.

I should spend tomorrow (and the rest of my life) cleaning my house. But I'll probably just run away to the FGN's again and wait for them to come home. It's supposed to rain tonight/tomorrow. I bet the view through their gigantic bay window (literally an entire wall) will be gorgeous.