4 posts tagged “adrian”

"It's A Wonderful Life" was on last night. I happened to flip channels and find it just before George tries to kill himself. Man, I know that movie WELL. Being home alone, I was reciting (aloud) all the lines that I remembered. That turned out to be just about all of them - and included knowing vocal inflections and facial expressions. It was kinda freaky. And I cried at the end - and was surprised that I was so touched (happens about once per 10 viewings). Maybe "acting" it out stuck some extra sympathy in me.

New Dining Room Window

I have new neighbors moving in across the street (the duplex that I wanted to buy, because it was a GREAT deal, but still couldn't afford - the one you can see in the picture, through the dining room window). I yelled a "welcome to the neighborhood" to them two nights ago (it was late & cold & they were busy so I didn't want to do full introductions). They seem nice... "Brad" yelled his name back but I have no idea which one he was. I think they're the owners - rather than renters - which is really nice. I recall Jesus (neighbor who wants to date me) saying he'd overheard that the tenants were supposed to be the owner's family and his brother's family... which seems correct considering that they're all helping each other move stuff. I considered going over and offering my assistance today - till I realized that the cold weather means I'd actually be a hindrance  I need to remember to get them some kind of "welcome" gift this weekend and do proper, daylight, introductions. Any suggestions for the gift? I was thinking wine but who knows if they drink. Then a basket of cleaning products - but this doesn't appear to be their first residence so they'd have all that. Some kind of food gift? A holiday wreath? (what if they're jewish?) I'm drawing blanks.

I have a big list of errands to run today but it doesn't seem like anything is going to get done. I cleaned up the bedroom last night - finally hung up all the clean clothes (which had been thrown on the floor throughout the week cause I was not in the mood to deal with them properly), changed sheets (ahhhhh!), and organized stuff. I'd really like to vacuum the house today but let's get real - not gonna happen.

Just got a call from Julie to crash Kim's annual office holiday party at a nearby ClaimJumper but decided to pass. Even though it's just a casual thing in the bar, I felt really out of place last year - especially after Tim showed up and everyone but me (even other non-employees) got a gift. No thanks - I'm already full up on the rejection issues.

Scott & Adrian's annual (hella lame) Christmas party is tonight. It will be good to see them, to pick Adrian's brain about why he returned to Scott (if he didn't finally get his name on the mortgage, he's an IDIOT - but he'll have to learn that in his own time), eat too much (they always have LOTS of food), and to remember why I don't go to many of Scott's parties (boring). I hope Scott's mother isn't going to be there - but she probably is. That woman makes me CRAZY and it takes ALL of my strength not to tell her so. Plus, she and Scott only communicate by SCREAMING - at each other and everyone else they love - which is something for which I have an extremely low tolerance (he's never pulled it on me cause he knows I'd give him shit for it). Should be a fun night.

I'm still not sure why I've chosen to go to their party rather than the Naples Boat Parade (though I have some concern about running into a former close friend, now bitter enemy, there) or the Pops Orchestra holiday concert. Guess I just miss Adrian. Plus, it's kinda predictable and low key - and I can come home early if I want. Plus, the homes in Naples are lit every night so I can go walk through there another time - missing the boat parade isn't too big of a deal.

What else? There's a big HRC fundraiser party going on Sunday at the home of Brad & Brad (a "who's who" couple of the Long Beach gay community). I'll know most of the people there (most also go to Brunch Bunch) and it would be fun to hobnob with the gay elite (most of the attendees will be HRC Federal Club members - those who donate $1200/yr, or more). But I'm not currently an HRC member and not ready to be a Federal Club member - so I'm not sure I really belong... not that they'd make me feel unwelcome or anything like that. I guess I should look up the party time and play it by ear tomorrow.

I need to get to JCPenney's this weekend and buy one of the 2 beds I picked out. That should have me sleeping in luxury by next weekend... merry christmas to me! I'm still pretending that a new bed will equal more energy upon awaking - but I know I'm full of shit. A new bed is just going to equal more resentment when I have to get out of it.

Which is probably something I should do right now since it's 2:30pm and I haven't showered or anything yet.

Ii-ii-ii-iii am sooo bor-or-or-or-or-or-or-ored"

And that was my experience at Morrissey.

I realized part of the prob was people kept telling me "he puts on a great show". I forgot to run that through my "I started going to concerts back when they were major theatrical productions" filter. You say "good show", I expect lighting and visual displays, and lord knows what else. Not a band which stands in place and plays, and a lead singer who does a wee bit of walking around the stage, shaking hands, while singing.

What people meant was, "Morrissey is good live" - which translates to "his music isn't all created post-production - he can actually sing and sound the same as his recordings."

He wasn't bad - not by a long shot. It just wasn't a "great show".

the opening act, Kristeen Young, was HORRIBLE. Worse than horrible. Just her siniging, and playing keyboards, with a drummer - waaaay on the other side of the stage - and guitar music that must have been recorded cause there was no one playing. We heard her "singing" while getting into the venue and buying beers - and even then I thought, "OMG - what the hell is this shit?" She was BAD!!

but back to Morrissey: The biggest prob to me enjoying the show was that he didn't sing many hits - and, as I said somewhere, I'm not a huge fan so I only know his hits. I was able to sing along to "Girlfriend in a coma". I recognized 2 other songs - but not well, i vaguely recognized parts of 2 more as songs I didn't like from his album release of a year or two ago. I heard one retro-surfer sounding song, which Adrian said was really new, that I really liked - but have no idea of the lyrics. There was no "suedehead", no "panic"... nothing else I knew. All the other bits of the 1hr, 4min concert were a total boring blank for me.

And the audience... ugh!! I figured at least the people watching would make up for any lack of knowing the songs - but nooooo. There were NO emo kids. NO emo adults. Nobody anything other than "normal" people you'd see anywhere else. Such a disappointment! The audience was mostly 30 to 50s. I was afraid that might happen at the Bowl - especially after his 3 Pasadena shows in Feb.

Adrian said the show VERY closely copied one that's on DVD - even ending with the exact same song, exact same outfit, and walking off at the exact same point. He felt he'd basically just seen the DVD done live.

I spent a LOT of the time thinking how much I'd rather be at Miss Kitty's. Adrian and I didn't make it over there. He was burnt out and didn't want to pay the cover. Plus he just hit 3 weeks of being single after leaving a 10 year relationship, a relationship he REALLY cared about (but which didn't care so much about him) so he's not ready to be out & about just yet. I reminded him that I'm going to Kitty's next week (Miss Kitty's Birthday Party!!) so I didn't mind blowing it off.

"Einstein" happened to call around 2am and say I hadn't missed anything at Kitty's. It was very usual for him to call after midnight - but he was clearly just horny and shopping around for a "date". He didn't understand that phrases like, "You need to get rid of those cats" (he's allergic) ain't getting him any closer to getting laid by me. I had fun teasing him on the phone but at one point I realized that could be a total "blow it" if C showed up for a booty call and overheard me. There'd be no way he would know I was joking around with someone. Considering the situation between "C" and me, it wouldn't bother me to overhear him having a similar convo, but I definitely get the feeling it would bug him. Guys can be sooo good about being possessive while refusing to actually "get involved".

So... I expected to be up all night but was actually in bed by 2:30 and got a fairly decent night of sleep. I was awakened, as I often am on Sat, by my neighbor beating things on his trashcan - and my annoyance at not being able to figure out what the hell he's beating up. I only ever pound 1 of 2 things on the trashcan: the cat litter box and the filter to my vaccum. He has neither - so what does he have to repeatedly beat on the trash ever weekend?? Seriously!?! What would a person have in their very sparcely decorated, hardwood floors, house that would require being beaten on the trashcan - 3 or 4 times, roughly 30 min apart, every Saturday??

I leave for the brow tattooing in about 2 hrs. I'm nervous... no fear of the pain; total fear of getting fucked up brows (despite already having that).

Based on prior experience with the Tool concert/tix, I know Adrian is very "last minute" about plans but I bought the tix months ago (at his request) and didn't hear from him again till last week. We confirmed that I still had the tix and planned to go. I haven't heard from him since. I'm not cool with that.

Question 1: At what time do I decide "fuck him", refuse to take his call even if he makes one, and start calling other people to go to the Morrissey concert with me? I'm saying 3pm - roughly 12 hrs from now. I plan to be on the road by 4pm.

Question 2: I'm not a big Morrissey fan. I don't dislike him - I just don't really follow him (only know radio hits by him and The Smiths). So, if Adrian doesn't call AND I don't find a replacement "date"... do I go alone (try to sell 1 ticket) or sell both tix at the door?

Then I took a mental chill pill.

It took a couple hours but I finally became an adult again last night. I decided to ignore my ever-present low self esteem issues and trust "C" (which has, so far, proven to be the wisest choice), the Universe, and my "better" instincts. I know that all things usually happy for the best so I decided to work with what I felt.

I txt msg'd my 2nd choice, Adrian, around 6pm and asked if he'd be in town and available Sun night. Props to him: He responded "Yes" without even asking why I wanted to know.

Then I debated - a LOT - about whether or not to contact C. On one hand, I didn't want to seem desperate. On the other, I was desperate and am not a fan of acting one way when I feel another (even if "conventional wisdom" says it's the better move. It's too "playing games" for me). I thought, maybe C didn't realize I was offering the ticket for free, or maybe he was 2nd guessing my expectations... or, or, or....

Rather than 2nd guess myself to death, I decided to txt him. After about 10 tries (because my cell phone apparently deletes entire messages - never to be recovered - if CLR is hit twice in rapid succession) I finally managed the following:

Are you absolutely SURE you can't go? I got the extra ticket specifically for you - because I thought you'd enjoy it and be good company. I hate the idea of going to my (distant) 2nd choice.

Then I called Adrian and told him why I was looking for him on Sunday. He was thrilled - despite the fight we both know he's probably going to end up having with his boyfriend about it. Adrian was very much okay with being my "standby" option (only going if C doesn't change his mind) and thought it might even lessen the severity of the fight with his boyfriend. I told him there was a 90% chance he'd be going and we agreed that I'll call him on Friday on confirm the outcome.

Later in the evening, C called (I had convinced myself I'd get a terse txt msg or nothing) and sounded sincerely sorry about not being able to go to the show. Whoa. (Might he actually enjoy my company too?!??) He still didn't divulge his conflicting committment - and I didn't ask. He offered to "make it up" to me by visiting tonight - because he'll be in my area for something (again, didn't say what). I would like to think that meant meeting for drinks or some other "social" activity but I'm fairly certain that's not his intention (which is still okay). So, because the "red menance" is still around, and because my house is too freakin cold to give him a gooood massage (with happy ending!!), meeting tonight will probably get cancelled.

I feel about a gazillion times better. I'm VERY glad I put aside my issues and went with my instincts to contact C - telling him I wanted him there instead of giving up without a fight. I am very happilly suprised that it didn't end poorly. Adrian and I will probably have an excellent time at the concert (so long as I remember to limit his alcohol intake). And, instead of being feeling rejected by ALL men, I now know I am accepted by two. Damn good outcome.