Posts

Nope

• Petting Espressa and falling back asleep while getting ready for work (not good)
  
• Feeling that the Cymbalta may be killing my emotional passions - lately I feel that I don't care (good or bad) about anything
  
• Double-dosing Cymbalta to kill knee pain is effective but will also kill an equal amount of phyical pleasure
• Figuring out that sitting is the biggest irritant to my knee - since that's pretty much all I do all day
  
• I think it's time to see an orthopedic surgeon. I'm a bit paranoid because after the arthroscopic surgery, about 15 yrs ago, that surgeon kind of implied a full knee replacement would be in my future.
  
• Knowing that my weight is a major contributor to my knee problem but still not being motivated to change my lifestyle and magically loose weight (though, to be fair, the knee makes it damn near impossible to do most forms of exercise)
• Adrian left for NJ (to live) and I didn't get to say goodbye in person
• Despite getting lots of sleep, I'm still really tired ALL the time
  
• Is it really July already???
  

Totally

• Petting Espressa and falling back asleep while getting ready for work (it felt good)
  
• Getting lots of restful sleep when double-dosing Cymbalta
• 3-day weekend with no "gotta do" plans
  
• Getting to hang with MissScotch
• San Francisco (I couldn't live there but I LOVE visiting)
• JetBlue
• Getting great opps for fun because I don't bother to wait for someone else to decide to do it with me (can't tell you how many people bitched about missing out on the $25 concert tix when it was their own damn fault for not being able to make up their mind, in 25 hours)
• Fun sexy men (applying a little "law of attraction" here)
  

First off - GO TO A GEORGE MICHAEL CONCERT!! Even if you don't really care for him... GO!! That was seriously one of the best shows I've ever seen. And knowing I paid $25 for seats, when a woman next to me paid $250, was wonderful. (from what I've seen, the "$25 for 25 hrs" sales are happening the last Fri before the performance)

The sole negative was that the stage was a little low for the amount of floor seating they have. I was probably 30-40 rows away from the stage and spent most of the concert craning my neck in order to see between other people. I just need to make sure to buy different seats for any future shows at Honda Center (section 210 & equiv - first level, directly to the side of the stage, appear to be best).

And I need to dance less - I felt the shooting pain of my knee popping in/out of joint at least 20 times. But I still kept dancing - it was that good!

There was no opening act. George Micheal went on a 8:45 and ended at 11:30p - with only a 20 min intermission. The sound was incredible. The lighting and videos (on the giant monitors) were great. And nearly tripping over Dita Von Teese (and several of her burlesque friends) while walking in didn't hurt matters either - especially when she was featured in the video that accompanied GM's rendition of "Feelin' Good" and I could tell the people near me, "THAT'S who I was telling you is here!" I wanted to take a pic with her but thought it might be tacky to ask - especially cause she was with friends.

I knew very little of George Michael's music but still had a fantastic time. So much so that I'll be buying most of his music this week.

I got home around 12:30am and immediately repacked for SF. I reset the alarm clock for 8am and went to bed around 2am. An airplane woke me up in the morn and I figured it was about 7:55. I decided to roll over and check. Nope... 8:15. Alarm didn't go off because I forgot to turn off the "weekend" option. It's pure luck that I actually woke up then, rather than 11:30. To my complete surprise, I left my house and headed to LB airport on time. I had a hard time finding parking but finally stalked someone and got their space. Then I freaked out because I lost my parking ticket and didn't want to end up charged for a week when I'd only be there for 30 hrs. 10 min of searching later, I decided I had wasted too much time and had to go catch my flight. Which turned out to be 30 min late. (I found the parking ticket when I got back from SF.)

I got to Oakland/SF without event and met up with Secret Agent Scotch. in the Mission district, around 1:30p. For a variety of reasons (including the fact that my knee REALLY did not like walking in SF), we had a relatively mellow weekend. We went to the apt (just as great as she has described it!), had lunch at a little hole-in-the-wall burmese place (kinda scary to look at but really good food), saw Sex & The City (she liked it; I picked it apart), had breakfast-for-dinner at Mel's, then went back to the house for talking and "partying". I got to see the wedding outfit and had a moment where it sort of took my breath away (Steve, you are a lucky lucky man!). I had a great time with the infamous Rudy - he's incredibly cute and fun (and got bonus points for snuggling in bed with me in the morning). We slept in on Sun and got up shortly before PapiChulo and friends came home from their "bachelor camp out". Papi seemed disappointed when he learned that we hadn't done something adventurous the night before and I was left wondering if I should have forced us to go out. I dunno... tough call. In the theme of "bachelorette", we later went to Good Vibrations and left with... books. (I found some flavored lube that I wanted but it was in 4oz bottles and the limit for carry on luggage is 3oz.)

Despite tons of planning, we lost track of time and the BART was behind schedule and I, once again, was running for a plane - the last of the day - that I expected to miss. And, once again, JetBlue WAITED FOR ME. Literally. The gate was empty except for 2 flight attendants who immediately asked, "are you Leenda? We've been holding the plane for you!" Ditto when I got on board. As soon as I was seated, the doors were closed and the plane departed. I was highly embarrassed and originally feeling "WHY do I keep doing this?" But I later realized it's because leaving SF at 4 in the afternoon does not feel right. But 6p is the last flight of the day so, unless I change airlines & airports, I can expect this trend to continue.

Dear JetBlue, you rock!! Thanks for continuing to accommodate my buttlagging! And please bring back terra blue chips as the inflight snack on your planes. kthxbai.

By the time my flight landed, my knee was fully pissed off (it does not like being bent/sitting; nor the 2 flights of stairs in Scotch's home) and I had to hobble to my car - eventually using my crutches to get around inside the house.

I was EXHAUSTED by 8p and got to bed a little bit "early" (11-ish), slept well, and headed to the chiro before work today. He adjusted my knee but it still feels awful - can't support my weight and is clearly swollen. Since Scotch and I really didn't do much walking, I'm extremely disappointed that it affected me so severely (now my L foot is also screwed up from trying to compensate when the R one couldn't hold me). I think it's finally time to schedule an orthopedic referral.

And that was my weekend. A bit of an expensive version of "just hanging out" with a cool friend - but I really did enjoy myself.

Now I am hours behind at work but not stressed about it. I could really use a nap but it looks like I'll be at work till around 10p. So I guess I should go start doing something in the hope of getting caught up. Ugh. Paychecks are nice but working sure harshes my buzz.

Happy end to the first 1/2 of 2008!!

Too much stress
Too much stress
Too much stress!!

And stupid stuff too. I mean, most of the stuff on my plate is happy stuff - concert, trip, great company, fun times, alcohol, dancing...

But the planning, making sure I prepared, combined with work and my natural inclination for anxiety is a bad cocktail.

I find myself in "I gotta..." mode. I gotta get this doc done so it's ready for the boss Mon morn. I gotta get the testing started cause we're sooo far behind and everyone's looking to me to get us caught up. I gotta be on top of my game, the shining star, at work. But I've also gotta get out of here early tonight cause I gotta get to Anaheim in time for the concert - and I gotta find parking (that part usually sucks). But, wait, am I gonna want a shirt? If so, I gotta get some more $$ before getting to the arena.

After the concert, I gotta go straight home and figure out why the hell my weekend bag seems so heavy - and repack it (no one needs that much stuff for a 30 hr trip!). Then I gotta make I'm ready to go in the morning.

Gotta get to bed early. Gotta remember to reset the alarm clock first. Gotta actually get up when it goes off. Gotta get dressed and get my shit together. Gotta get Moshi back in the house before I go. Gotta get to the airport with enough time to check in before boarding (surprisingly difficult for me as I tend to think of the departure time as the boarding time and forget to allow an extra hour).

Gotta Gotta Gotta!!

I'm pretty sure I'll be fine once I'm checked in and waiting in the terminal (which reminds me, gotta go do JetBlue internet check in right now (why didn't I get an email reminder?)). Thankfully, the checkin & security process at Long Beach - from curbside to gate - takes about 15 min max (2 min on a good day. I love that airport!).

Soo... send mental valium so that I don't have to take the real stuff (which will just make me tired). And remind me that all of this will be FUN and to get over myself!  kthxbai

newest in the Demotivators.com collection:

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I got a "save the date" card in the mail today!! The FGNs are going to be MARRIED on their 15yr anniversary -  October 11, 2008. I am sooooooo ridiculously happy for them!

And a little bit envious - both good looking, good personalities, good relationship, beautiful home, successful in business, and just got their BA degrees. While me... well, I have a crap home and am kinda successful at my job.

Worth noting, these guys are only 30-something. They've been a couple since they were 19yrs old! How many people can say that?!?

*for those new-ish to my hood, FGN = Fabulous Gay Neighbors. aka: Drew & Riley - a wonderful couple who lived next door to me before the FN (fucktard neighbor).

Pinches:

• The 2nd floor entryway smells like fish/feet. Quite barfy.
• Someone on Vox lied about the Vosges Mo's Bacon Bar (chocolate with bacon). It was soooo horribly bad that I had to spit it out and couldn't stop laughing about how truly repulsive it was. Had I tried to swallow it, I would have vomited (and I've swallowed some truly... nevermind). My coworker commented, "I don't even like bacon anymore."
• My neighbor at home. Today, as he repeated banged his trash cans around at 6am, then started building stuff at 8am, I realized that we never "clicked" as neighbors. He barely acknowledges my existence, which is quite a change from prior neighbors. I don't know if he's that way in general or if it's specific to me. Either way, when combined with his lack of consideration for my schedule (out of consideration, I don't play outdoors with the cats at 2am), it's made me not like him. Plus his pale skin really creeps me out. I can see how other women might find him attractive but I find him really gross (as I'm sure he does me).
  
• My mentor-ish coworker, who I really respect and am basically partnered with (largely by choice), has started hinting about quitting when we change locations
• TheQueen
• Feeling overwhelmed by plans and other people's expectations, even though I'm really not - it's all in my head
• For reasons I still haven't figured out, I NEVER remember to pay my utility bill until I get a disconnect notice
  
• Eating a lot less (thanks Cymbalta) but my bras are getting tighter on my ribcage (not my boobs) and the scale says I haven't lost any weight at all
• My order of pepper spray still hasn't been delivered (stalled in Illinois during the storms but now it's been sitting, local, for 4 days)
• I remembered to call the construction guy (and he does have an electrician referral) but he was in the field and because I want an appt a week from now, he wants me to call him back sooner to the actual day I want him out
  
• Not being remotely prepared for a meeting I called for tomorrow (thankfully, it's only 3 of us)
  
• Expecting to be stood up for the G.Micheal concert Fri night
• I just checked ticket availability for the concert and it appears that it will either be drastically undersold/small crowd in a huge venue or may be cancelled at the last minute. Considering tix still available, I'd probably go with the cancellation. It looks like only the floor and part of the first level (of 3) have sold for Fri (he nearly sold out another SoCal venue - guess there aren't enough fans to support 2 shows). I'm also annoyed to see that 5+ seats for 14th row, dead center, are available when that area did not come up in the $25 sale on Friday. My floor seats are prob another 20 rows (or more) back.
  

Kisses:

• C enthusiastically accepted offer for my extra ticket to the G.Micheal concert (of the few people with whom I've been to concerts, he's been the most fun... adding to the experience instead of distracting from it)
• Fachowna's friend said the GM concert was really good
  
• Pole workouts
• I remembered to buy my ticket to the Pole$tar competition
• Knee pain is largely tolerable (thanks Cymbalta & pilates)
• Relationship with food is closer to "normal"; I rarely have cravings and can walk away from meals unfinished (thanks Cymbalta)
• My kitties being super cute today: Moshi kept calling for me then running off; Espressa, who usually isn't very talkative, was chatty & wanted lots of petting; Boo wanted up into the closet, rearranged the linens to her liking (hiding her) then went to sleep
• Being on top of my workload (even though it feels like I'm not)
  
• I'm going to SF on Saturday!
  

10:30p and 87 F in my living room. The 10 degree diff is such a relief that you'd think it was in the mid-60s. I expect to finally get a good night of sleep.

I got all my errands run this afternoon - expect dropping off my pants that need mending (how in the hell do you rip open the section below the zipper, extending to the crotch, without knowing it??) because I forgot to toss them in the car.

And, miracle of miracles, after staring at my open windows for several hours while immobilized by heat, I'm now certain I have a way to lock them open. HURRAH!! Now I just need to find the parts (long metal pins of some sort) and develop the balls to try it (involves drilling through the frames).

I found some golf gloves to try for pole dancing. Cool advantage, since you buy them one at a time, I can just keep replacing the L one (even though I'm R-handed, I'm one of the few people who prefers to pole with my L), which happens to be the easier one to find anyway. And the brand I found features nice little air holes between the fingers - so maybe I won't sweat as much (probably wishful thinking).

I was going to re-color my hair tonight but I'm not feeling it now. For anyone who cares, that new Clairol Perfect 10, "10 min", haircolor is inexpensive and easy but greys reappear way too soon (a couple days). Still, I'm lazy so I keep using it instead of the far superior L'Oreal Couleur Experte 2-step coloring.

Quickie listy-list (since I haven't done one in weeks):

• Call plumber/construction guy and schedule bid for wall repairs; ask for electrician referral
  
• Office: Schedule meeting to re-org the laser device manual
• Replace cat litter
• Color hair
• Read some of any one of the books I'm 1/2 way through
  
• Figure out what I need for turn-around trip to SF; pack all but last minute stuff
  
• Thurs PM: Workout
• Fri PM: Concert; take out some cash for trip
  
• Sat AM: Toss last minute stuff in overnight bag; Fly to SF
  
• Sun PM: Fly home
• Sun Late PM: Recover from trip
  

Not having A/C SUCKS!! Sure, I live near the ocean. Sure, there's normally a really nice breeze. But not this week. This week ocean = humidity on top of the heat - and having to stand directly in front of a fan to stay dry enough to get dressed.

I stayed home on Fri due to lack of sleep from heat & body aches (hard workout Thurs). I still haven't managed to get more than a couple hours of sleep. During the day, the temp in my living room is "OL" - overload - which means "above 95 F". By night, in the 2am range, it's usually running around 87 F. And that's with 4 fans running full blast. It kills me not to be able to keep the windows open (remember, the new ones don't lock in open positions), not that it would really do any good anyway. My nights are mostly spent dousing myself with cold water (which dries, without use of a towel, in about 5 min) and being totally immobile while watching infomercials (I don't have cable TV). Minus the water dousing, it's also pretty much how the days are spent.

But at least the heat inspired an "emergency" shopping spree for capri pants Fri night, which resulted in 3 pair of pants and 5 new shirts. I could use some shoes to coordinate an office outfit but the search is not worth the effort today.

Workout yesterday was pretty good... despite a 3 mile backup just to get to Balboa island (thank goodness Nicole has a "secret" place for me to park). We're basically doing a small pole routine now... something I resisted before but now indulge cause it gives us some direction. I'd like to be learning more (like climbing, which I've never managed again, or new spins) but the routine keeps me moving and we're adding things on here and there. I would have liked to work out harder yesterday but couldn't manage it in the heat. I couldn't stop sweating, which made me slide off the pole. And then my workout gloves, which help me stick to the pole, got all sweaty and stuck to the pole while my hand slipped out of them - ripping them to bits. I wish I could figure out a magic way to get my hands to stick to the pole like other people's do naturally but it always seems to be too hot or too cold.

After workout, I finally remembered to stop at REI and sign up for an all day, on water, beginning kayaking class (hate that you can't sign up online!). I'll be going on July 26. Don't let me forget! I'm supposed to meet at the Santa Ana store but I think the even location is about an equal distance from my home, in the opposite direction, so I might try to get info to just drive myself.

And speaking of finally doing stuff: Hell or high water, this week I WILL call the plumber/construction guy to make an appt for him to bid my wall repairs (and tell me what I have to do to prep). I'm also going to ask if he has an electrician referral so I can get the bedroom rewired (as real grounded outlets) and have another grounded outlet added so that I can get a window A/C unit. And to have the useless kitchen light rewired to the outdoor overhang so I can keep that lighted (and my peeping tom away) at night. And maybe rewire the overhead hallway light so I can update it (looks like original, 1920s, wiring which doesn't support current lighting standards).

Sooo.... besides the above errands, there are some misc ones for today:

• Mani/pedi (did you know acrylic nails can peel off in one big chunk, like an artificial nail? Neither did I.)
• Buy cat litter (overdue cause I only like one brand, the one with cedar in it, and only one local store carries it)
• Drop stuff at dry cleaners (I've been driving my clothes around for about 3 weeks now cause I wanted to take them somewhere cheaper but keep forgetting)
• Measure windows (so I can order approp qty of silk table runners, in SF, to make into curtains)
• Buy new workout gloves (I'm going to start bringing multiple pair so I can switch out if one gets sweaty)
• Do laundry (should only be one load - which is good since we're currently on even tighter water restrictions)
• Buy gas
• Find Espressa (she's in none of her usual cooling spots)
  
• Melt

Here's a pic of the oriental lilies that just started blooming in my backyard. Their color is still a little light but will get richer over the next couple days:

ArtandTea posted the 2008 version of Dancing Matt, which linked me to his site, Where In The Hell Is Matt?, where you can now track where he is - currently in Seattle, where he lives - and learn just how in the hell he traveled to all those places. And which also links to a pretty interesting outtakes vid: