Weighing on my mind
I like the new subway commercial (everyone's seats breaking).
I like the new microwave deli sandwich commercial (mass run for a conference room on word of free pizza).
They both make me laugh cause I've seen them happen.
I haven't broken a chair (at least not that I recall) but I did, once, have a chair stick to my butt (actually, to the side hem of my jeans) and go with me when I tried to stand up. At the doctor's office. It was a pretty heavy chair. I should have been humiliated (the staff was). Instead, I'm a realist - I was accepting.
Today's Oprah show did that thing where people find out that even though they're 40, their biological age is 60. And it freaks them out and they make a radical life change and come back all healthy and biologically younger than their physical age. That's another where they'd tell me I'm 70 and I'd just go "oh. whatever." No impact. It's not something I relate to.
The show also had something about "write down why you deserve better health this year." I couldn't answer that. Still can't. Which is pretty F'd up, if I do say so myself.
Then there was "write down 3 foods you'll stop buying right now". I couldn't answer that either - but at least I know that was cause it would be denying myself something (a form of pleasure), and I feel I already deny myself enough just to survive. That's why I'm a hedonist - grab pleasure where I can (without hurting others). Food is one of the very very very very very very (et al) pleasures over which I have control and can access pretty much at will.
It's messed up thinking. I don't only know that logically, I've already experienced it. I lost a ton of weight (90 lbs, I think) waaaay back in 1989 - just through healthy lifestyle changes. I experienced, first hand, how much MORE pleasure there is in living healthy. But that seems a million years and a different person ago. And the pleasure of food is immediate and tangible. The pleasure of a healthy life is cerebral and "far away" (and the immediate experience is denial of immediate pleasure). And it takes soooo damn much work. I don't need more work!!
So I'm currently watching the 1st episode of the new season of The Biggest Loser (not scarfing food - but only cause I already did that, about an hour ago) and, for once, I feel like the contestants are people I can relate to. Though most are bigger than me pound-wise, they look like what I see (on the rare occassion that I glance in a mirror). I believe their physical, and personal, challenges are more likely to mimic my own. And I share a name with one of the contestants. OOooh.
Maybe the trainers will be forced to adapt for the limits of their very large contestants (maybe not - that's how I blew my knee out). Maybe the show will finally come out with a workout that I can do. I tried the first one but it was all side-to-side action and, guess what, fat people have bad knees that don't support moving side to side!!
I like the xrays that the contestants are seeing that visually display their lung capacity, liver size, and other internal issues caused by obesity. If I could get those, they might influence me.
I hate the commercials within The Biggest Loser... the gum, the Brita filters, the water bottles, milk (don't think I didn't notice, last season, when Bob made everyone else drink milk for the commercial but had none himself!).
Moving on... will anything make a difference this year compared to others? If I want results but am still not willing to give up a damn thing to get them?? (I'm willing to add workouts - but not to take away foods. Not yet). Not so likely.
But I also need to get the GI issues under control. They're on a rampage today. You know you're in for a bad situation when you literally hear a waterfall occurring inside your body (I apparently have a section of GI tract that runs straight down, near the front of my stomach). So, first things first... a ton of Immodium. Second things second, make an appt with the GI doc to who(m) my doc referred me. Third things third, get her to understand that we need to pursue diagnosis options other than stool samples cause I'm still not on board with that. At least not with a waterfall in my body!!
On the bright side of things, last week I was having lots of GI probs that I couldn't understand cause I was eating nothing but toast. After I ran out of bread, I finally remembered something I read on the web, about some GI problem (I don't remember which one) that said people who have it can eat some cheeses (cheddar) but not others (brie). Maybe my problem was that I was eating sour dough, not something like whole wheat. I dunno. I really just want need a diagnosis which I believe (NOT celiac disease) and can adapt for.
Okay, I believe I hear another waterfall. Gotta go.
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Comments
I really hear you on the issue of being unable to deny yourself "life's little pleasures", I'm the same myself (know I should cut down on sugar, know I should eat more varied, know I should get more excersise etc etc ad nauseum)-I think there are many people who are!
There was once a norwegian version of "the biggest looser" that was actually really nice-the twist was that nobody got sent home during the show, they all got to stay and get all the help, traininge etc-and the winner was the one who lowered his/her body fat % the most or something like that. They did a lot of fun activities, and spent minimal time in a gym-instead they went canooing, hiking, jumping on trampolines (not for those with bad joints!), swimming, doing yoga and pilates outside, dancing etc. Swimming might be a suggestion for you? It's easy on the joints, and really efficient excersise. I know some of the pools here have special "ladies nights" where guys are kicked out so the gals don't have to worry about being glared at :p
It always annoyed me about The Biggest Loser that people had to be eliminated from the show. These are people who want to save their own lives and you're sending them home? I guess maybe they allow them access to continued help I don't know. But I do like the show and the people are very inspirational!
But Leenda, have you seen a nutritionist? Of course, they would go against your whole unwillingness to deny yourself those certain things, and I do understand that too, from your point of view. I just wonder if you can get someone that will help you in a realistic way. You're being realistic about yourself. You can't change eating habits overnight, but if a nutritionist could help to steer you away from certain foods that may be triggers to your GI problems...well, I guess that would all go back to getting a diagnosis and giving a stool sample.
And I don't know about sourdough but whole wheat might not be the answer either since it has fiber. You should look up "bland diet". When I was having temporary stomach probs about 10 or so years ago, it was dry white toast, plain chicken, ginger ale, maybe some chicken broth, saltines, probaby, white rice.
My high cholesterol was a real wakeup call and I discovered I could cut a lot out of my diet without feeling so deprived as I would have thought if, in theory, someone had told me I couldn't have them (especially knowing my dad died at age 60 from atherosclerosis, I felt like my life was really at stake here if I didn't make changes). I just found some substitutes that worked for me. One thing that did it for me was reading the fat and cholesterol content on the labels, on things like ice cream. My beloved Ben and Jerry's...so. much. fat. and cholesterol. That went right out the window, and if I don't have it in the house I don't miss it. But, I've always been like that with ice cream. Mad cravings and then indifference. But I don't get the cravings as much, and when I do I go for a single serving.
AND of course, I have been very lax in my attention to my diet lately so we'll see what my cholesterol is in a little over a week...
anyway! I hope this doc is The One!!! make the appointment!
I can't remember what I did with the doc's card. If I can't find it, I'll call my primary and get the number (for the 40th time).
My problem with biggest loser is that they focus on % of weight lost, not % of FAT lost. So some people get penalized when they've had a great week of muscle gain, which weighs twice as much as fat. It actually creates incentive to be thin but not in shape - weak muscles weigh less than strong ones.
Did you see last night's episode? They kicked of HALF the contestants - in the first week!! It's 11 teams of 2-members. 9 teams had to send home one of their members. If the member who stayed is still on the show in 30 days, then the person who was kicked off gets to come back.