My "perfect" man
Dunno how many of you signed up for "the Global S" newsletter back when I was trying to win a stripper pole. Probably fewer read it. Too bad, as Sheila had a really great commentary on women's standards and the search for "a good man".
From reading it, I realized my own qualifications for a "good" man are incredibly simple:
- He must be unpredictable. At least enough that I stay interested because I rarely know what's coming next.
- He must talk enough that I get to know him - and his quirks/patterns - so that I can predict his moves, motives, reactions, emotions.
- He must be predictable when I need to know (or be reminded) that he loves me - or if something is wrong.
- He should be unpredictable enough to "keep me on my toes"
So... simple enough... I want a totally unpredictable man who's predictable - except when he's not, unless I want him to be... all so I know I'm loved yet still suprised enough to stay intereted.
What's so unreasonable about that?!?
Neighborhood
Explore friends, family, friends & family, or entire neighborhood.
Comments
Anyways...
I think that maybe you've just found the pinnacle reason why monogamy is on the decline (or divorce is on the rise) *smirk-wink*. I really do believe that surprise and unpredictable predictability becomes less possible with increased familiarity. And though I know this is not the case for *everybody*, for me familiarity breeds boredom. That's not to say I stop loving, I simply need something/someone else to regain that unpredictability. I guess ultimately I'm trying to say, we can find that in someone, but it won't last by virtue of time. I've gone through some serious heart-ache on account of all this. Call me a heathen, I won't be shocked :-D
... The caveat to this being I've only ever dated Australians and I've been told by foreigners we're all totally insane, so maybe the trick is to date a relatively predictable Australian.
As Michelley-Shell commented, the prob is that predictablity quickly breeds boredom - and I'm HIGHLY allergic to boredom.
And I realized I have the same expectations about our sex. It should always be different than any other time.
Of course I realize that both situations are completely impossible. That someone totally unpredictable would make me crazy because I wouldn't feel loved when I need to (lived this in real life); and also that someone becoming predictable - which is normally considered a good thing - would make them totally boring to me (have also lived this in real life) and I'd start seeking more unpredictability.
To ever make this work in real life, I would need someone who semi-predictable about love but highly spontaneous when it comes to sex, social activies, etc.
Do I think I can have it both way? Absolutely not. Which is why I enjoyed pointing out the insanity of the sitation.
I would only ever use the term "Heathen" as a compliment.
I used to joke about wanting to date 2 men at once. It wasn't long ago that I realized that genuinely is what I seek... and why I am so frequently attracted to best friends & gay couples.
It tends to work out that one partner is good for "educated" stuff - theater, hours in bookstores, deep conversation; while the other is good for "lighter" stuff - nightclubbing, concerts, etc.
I don't expect to ever get a long term relationship with two men - but it really would be my ideal.
If I ever find that unpredictable predictability in one man, you can be sure I'm gonna do all I can to keep him around (though, naturally, he'll be seeking something totally different that whatever I am).
oooh, golf, that's where all the men are! who was it that says they go to the driving range to hit balls? That's what I should do...
and then become a golf widow after I snag one... *snerk*