I'm not dead, so that's a plus

The upside-down pole trick went pretty much as I expected. The xanax mellowed and I was able to drive and do class without a problem. And the amount was sufficient to keep me laughing instead of crying when I couldn't accomplish the pole trick on my own. I finally got up there... upside-down - but only after 5 or 6 tries and with 2 people PUSHING me with all their might. I felt like a COMPLETE RETARD. Thank gawd the 2 spotters held on to me... I hit a slickery spot on the pole, lost my grip, still couldn't stop laughing at myself, and would have fallen on my head without them.

Then everyone cheered and congratulated me as if I'd actually done something. As if - it was the 2 spotters who did all the work!! Though, I do give myself a teensy bit of props for not only trying it - but going back and trying again & again till it happened. Another student gave it one shot and walked away. But she's like that about everything. And I'm like I was about everything - if it doesn't injury me, I'll keep giving it a go. So, yea for me - but just a little bit.

Later, during "the routine", I lost my balance twice during floor work (and ended the routine with my shorts stuck at my knee pad - not too sexy). I guess the balance losses looked very animal/primal, as the instructor cheered me when they happened, but it was just klutsiness. Of course, the trick is to to treat mistakes as "I meant to do that" and fluidly work around them. Personally, I'm impressed that I did the routine at all - I couldn't remember a lot of it (luckily, "muscle memory" kicked it and I did it all anyway), I HATED the song the instructor had picked (something slow & spanish. I prefer more aggressive music) so I wasn't "feelin it", and I was so tired that all I really wanted was to go to sleep.

Stripper robe

Next week is our last Level 2 class... where we'll learn "jeans strip" which is supposed to be one of the hardest non-pole moves. I'm debating about bringing in my stripper robe (bought on ebay) for the routine. I know a bunch of the other girls are planning costumes too. We're all excited about finally earning our level 2, pink, g-strings (like karate, we get different colors of g-strings as we complete each level).

After class, walking to my car, I found it interesting that I was thinking, "Man, I need to get a trainer for just arms & abs. And I need to go on a rapid weight loss program so I can get thin enough for these moves. The instructors just don't understand that not only am I pulling all this extra weight but also I can't tuck my knees into my chest on demand - because there is simply too much stomach in the way!!". And as quickly as that thought finished, it was followed by, "I wonder if I have enough money to stop somewhere for food on the way home." Disconnect? I'd say so. At least I realized it and made myself a dinner of black beans, tomato sauce, and rice (Trader Joe's microwave rice RULES)... which was surprisingly good.

I fell asleep fast (thanks to my new heated mattress pad which I insist "feels like good sex" when I crawl into bed) but woke up with an attitude problem. I absolutely did not want to come in today (and buttlagged appropriately), seriously considering beating the crap out of some guy - or his car - for being an a-hole driver, and am currently in the mood to pick a fight with someone for no apparent reason. And, damn it, I just realized El Cid restaurant never called me back about getting a reservation to the "Super Sexy Christmas Burlesque Show" this Sun night. It's too far (Hollywood) and too late (10pm on a Sun) to drive up without a confirmed reservation. Damn.

The Warner Grand theater

I think I'm skipping the Miss Kitty's Parlour "Candyland" party tonight - even though it sounds like fun. Minor errand running on Sat. Christmas concert by the Golden State (Shore?) Pops Orchestra on Sun afternoon - which is generally cheesy atmosphere but really good musc. Plus I will, hopefully, finally find the seat I sponsored when I donated for part of the theater renovations (the Warner Grand is the last of the original Warner theaters - built in 1931 - and it's BEAUTIFUL). My donation was enough to get my name on a plaque on the back of a seat. I used to sponsor the Pops Orchestra too but I can't afford that anymore.

All in all, a low key weekend but I'm already stressed. I'm a retard like that.

Hope you all are having fun with your holiday insanity.